time to shake things up

I started class yesterday . . . after a 1 year hiatus. I was really scared of getting my feet wet again. It's not that I've done poorly in school in the past, nor is it because I don't enjoy school. I guess I was just scared of moving on with my life.

sometimes we fear the things that will bring us the most fulfillment

the moment I stepped on campus, I could feel it - moving through me like a wave of fresh air - I belong there. It was like finding a missing puzzle piece. looking in the darkest corner through some of the scariest possible places, and there it was . . . and when I picked it up, I felt straight. it was wonderful. I had only registered for a math class, but as I left the building, I found myself wishing that I could stay and learn more. I wanted to be a student. I wanted to go from class to class and feel busy and BE busy and know that I was in the right place.

so yesterday I came to work and I thought about it. I thought and I thought and I thought about it. Of course, after leaving campus the *right* feeling had left, and I was soon back to work. After a long day and a short night, my general feeling was "nah. maybe later. it's too late to really change things now"

but then this morning, the signs came again. so I got thinking again . . . and then it happened. I found out that my department is just a little overstaffed on MWF mornings. When I saw that we were overstaffed, my coworker commented "yeah, now Jenny is thinking about registering for another morning class" and I just couldn't help but say "actually, I'm thinking about it too." it was just like a sign - blaring in my face - "do it!"

so, I did it. within an hour, I was registered as a full time student. On MWF mornings, I will be on campus, enjoying the student life. Tuesday and Thursday I just have my early class . . . so I'll be working 9 - 6. the amazing thing is that all of the classes just fell into place for me . . . and they were all full except for the time slots that I needed. it was incredible. I just keep saying it must have been meant to be. It is SO meant to be!

So now I am a student. I am so excited to be a student again. I know that come April I will be wondering if I really want to be a student, but I know that I have a solid confirmation that I can rely on. I know that I'm supposed to be doing this now. all signs say go. I'm going for it. wish me luck!

I haven't listened to a single song today because of all of the excitement . . . wait, no. I have. I listened to the last few songs on homogenic today . . . and I thoroughly enjoyed the constant throbbing warmth that encompasses "all is full of love". Thank you, Ms. Gudmundsdottir, for the music.