from a basement on the hill

blogging has been in the far corners of my brain the past week or so - but it’s been hard to know what to say - in all honesty. Sometimes, life seems so uneventful that it’s hard to think of things to say. I did want to write about an important event tonight though.

One year ago, something pretty significant happened. Significant to me - and also to many other people. On the 21st of October, 2003 - I flew home from Tennessee. I cried as I kissed the green goodbye. It was hard. Little did I know, as that part of my life was dying - another very important person was dying - all the way across the country.

The first time I heard Elliott Smith’s voice - he was on the Oscars. I remember being so impressed by the courage of the guy in a white tux with nothing to guard his fragile image except for a well-worn guitar. He stood there, on behalf of the Goodwill Hunting Soundtrack - and he sang “miss misery”. Sandwiched inbetween performances by Trisha Yearwood and Celine Dion - the odd placement of his performance was almost comical. I didn’t pay much attention to the song - I remember enjoying it though. I didn’t hear from him again until October of that year. 1998. I was on my way to class. Sitting at a stop light - Waltz #2(xo) came over the radio. It was catchy. Had me hypnotized. The man in the white tux had completely slipped from my memory - but I was really liking the man that was singing to me through the radio. I went home that afternoon and looked Elliott up through my dial-up connection. I browsed the songs that cdnow had clips of - and I was convinced that I wanted to hear more. As soon as I could, I called my dear friend and asked him for a lift to the store to get my hands on some more of Elliott. As we drove home - Sweet Adeline took me over, and it was love at first listen.

The coming year was full of growing respect and love for Elliott and his music. I remember sitting at work - where I answered the order lines for a large company - sitting there and just humming elliott into my headset. Elliott was the first cd that I ever bought on a whim. Not knowing much about his music - only hearing a song on the radio. It was a shot in the dark, but it was well worth it, if you asked me.

So, as I was saying - October 21,2003. Important day. Elliott passed from this life last year on October 21st. He took his own life - after battling with major depression/drug addiction/issues from his childhood for many, many years.

I’m positive that he will be another Nick Drake. Someone who only has a small cult following while their heart beats upon the earth - then suddenly admired by millions years after they pass from this life.

This Tuesday, the 19th - Elliott’s last CD “From a basement on the hill” was released. He was recording a double album when he died. Luckily, for our listening pleasure - he was able to lay down enough material for a full-length album. It’s beautiful. Some of his best work. Heaven knows how his life was those past few months - but from the artwork included in this cd - it looks like he was on a roller-coaster. He is missed by many. True talent seemed to flow through his veins.

I never got to see elliott perform live - although I did try once. Tickets went faster than I could get the money to purchase one - and the night of the show there were no ticket sellers outside the venue. I guess that's probably been the hardest part of his death for me to accept. I wanted so badly to see his face and hear his voice at least once - but I am grateful for the music that I have been able to enjoy through the comfort of my headphones.

everything is gone but the echo of the burst of a shell
and i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
in the city i built up and blew to hell
i'm stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
still i sinned all the time
my request for relief
down the dead power lines
though i'm beyond belief
in the help i require
just to exist at all
took a long time to stand
took an hour to fall.

-- Elliott Smith